high tea

Py cooks

A Gastrophile's Dream: my relationship and adventures with food

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My imaginary eatery
high tea
While I am fully aware that running an eatery is far beyond my physical as well as financial means, I often find myself fantasizing about it. I know it isn't exactly healthy but as I know where the influence is coming from...

Breakfast Menu
  • French toast
  • Pancakes
  • Waffles
  • Omelets - various types as well as seasonal choices
  • Breakfast Burritos
  • Southern Biscuits
  • Butter-horns
  • Cinnamon Rolls
  • Chicken Fried Steak - with trimmings
  • Bacon - Pork and Turkey
  • Ham
  • Sausage - any style
  • Eggs- any style
  • Fried potatoes - various styles
  • Fruit - as per the season mostly

Lunch Menu
  • Salad - there are sooo many styles
  • Soup - again with spoiled for choice
  • Clam Chowder - Fuck fridays only
  • Philly Cheese-steak Sandwich
  • BBQ Pork Sandwich
  • Ruben
  • Patty melt
  • Burgers - any style
  • Veggie or Bocca Burger
  • Southern fried Fish Burger
  • Chicken Burger
  • Tacos - Beef, chicken and fish
  • Fries
  • Onion Rings
  • Battered Mushrooms
  • Chicken wings
  • Chicken Strips

Dinner Menu
  • Burritos
  • Tacos
  • Taquitos
  • Fajita
  • BBQ Pork - Corn on the cob, collard greens and tattie salad on the side
  • BBQ sausage on a bun - with the above
  • Southern Fried Chicken - with corn on the cob, mashed tatties, gravy and a southern biscuit
  • Southern Fried Fish - with Cole-slaw, collard greens and hush-puppies or corn fritters
  • Fried clams
  • Prawns -Multiple styles: Battered, grilled, sauteed, scampied (yeah they are versatile)
  • Chicken Parmesan
  • Pasta bakes - various styles
  • Pork Chops - with apple sauce, baby tatties and minted peas

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A long time ago (okay, around 4 years, but hey, it seems a lifetime ago), I set out a full business plan for a restaurant (do you remember that? not sure if we knew each other then).
I was advised at the time to only have 5 or 6 things in each section... "brunch/breakfast", "lunch", "starters", "mains" and "desserts".
I still think about some of the menu items I'd set out, like
"Crispy skinned ocean trout, served with garlic potatoes dauphinoise, and tarragon creme"
Look good, Py.
If it ever happens, give me a yell. I'll come and help :)

I think that the core component of this imaginary eatery is my idea of comfort food. Before I actually wrote it out I had no idea I'd been so touched by the time I spent in southern Missouri, you'll note I've added collard greens on to some of the dinner dishes. I would want a venture like this to be cheap, semi healthy and yet comfortable.

The 5 to 6 rule seems to be fairly common here in Scotland and being brutally honest, it gets on my tits. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if most establishments actually understood that food tasting good is just as important portion allotment and pricing. You either get a lot of shitty tasting food or a 'looking for more at the end' portion that at least has a ghost of flavour. Apparently this is frustrating the crap out of me more than I thought =(

The "experts" to whom I've spoken about the 5-6 rule say its mostly because of food wastage. That does make sense.
I think, though, that a hard and fast 5-6 rule is redundant. Add another 4 or 5 specials, too.

ah waste!
Pork chops that don't get used up can become shredded bbq pork sandwiches. Leftover chicken can be shredded down for burritos, tacos and taquitos, fish I'd be more cautious with of course but the same rule could apply. I am aware that health and safety rules especially where food is concerned, prevent vicious lawsuits but at the same time they are forcing a lot of un-needed waste.

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